EHarmony, Facebook, Myspace, & Roomates.com are interchangeable words.

So I've always fared on the side of caution when it comes to meeting people via the internet. I pretty much assume every guy that's contacted me has some fundamental flaw. Like a Unibrow or a penchant for kidnapping women into windowless vans. And reasonably so I thought, I mean, why wouldn't these guys just meet women at the club? Or at church? Or in the bathroom stall where it said to be there "for a good time at midnight". To be fair, we're never true representations of ourselves on the internet. No matter what social media we're using. Listen, I'm a culprit myself. Amongst my friends, I'm a notorious "de-tagger". During the brief time I was single and actually interested in male interaction, versus wallowing in my own misery and steaming artichokes on a Friday night, I looked into creating a profile for Eharmony (because I wanted to meet someone special today). I was off the market for a combined four years, I turn around and all of a sudden, prowling the internet for dates while pant-less at your desk was no longer creepy, but collectively, the most viable way to meet a new partner. Hi Martha, welcome to 2006.

Maybe its my idealistic heart, or secret hopes of being able to tell my kids the adorable story of how I met their father at the dog park, when his dog bit me in the butt. It just sounds so much better than 'he cyber poked me and sent me 'icebreaker' questions as procedure before investing further time in getting to know me". So inorganic. Then as I went through my romantic Rolodex I realized that I had become somewhat of a FREAKIN' POSTER-CHILD for it. My 3 last boyfriend stats goes as follows:

Current-Facebook
Previous-Roomates.com
Previous before that-Myspace(R.I.P (Myspace that is, not him))

So then I had to re-evaluate what my issue was with dating-specific websites, when clearly I've not only dabbled, but done a nose dive, head first into the non-specific dating internet abyss. I guess it's because I always thought of myself as this unassuming, innocent bystander on the road of social networking. But in reality, everything on my profile was calculated. My photos went through a strenuous screening process before posted. Criteria included but not limited to: sexy but not slutty, fun but not an alcoholic. All the quotes and likes I had should reflect how cultured, worldly and life affirming I am. So perfect, I should just tie a pretty pink bow and send it to grandma. In actuality, I love Jersey Shore, I'm on a Hot Cheetos & Redbull diet and today is laundry day so I'm wearing boy shorts. And that's how its is, all day err day. So I guess I found my issue with online dating within my own hypocrisy; Everything we put out there about ourselves went under one giant red "Edit" button before anyone got their shameless,voyeuristic eyes on it!

Maybe someday, should I find myself single with a lost appetite for artichokes, I'll jump on the bandwagon. For now, I appreciate the gift of being able to judge a man the ol' fashioned way: through my own personal prejudices, filters and biases, based on his actual dysfunctions and not some manufactured porcelain version of himself. Cause, you know...that seems fair.